Friday night at the Library of Congress

Trish, this post's for you...

Intermission and a semi illegal shot. The "friendly nieghborhood" usher came up to remind me that photography of the performance wasnt allowed. Seeing as this tuning was less a performance and more of a necessity, I asked if I could take pictures. FNU was a bit quizzical (i think my logic threw him off) but decided it was ok.

The date. Giving me his best "serious listener to long classical pieces" look.

The desert. Yum. Courtesy of a great desert shop in little Korea...Chocolate mousse and Coconut mousse. Dont ask me which was my fave because they both delighted my taste buds.

As promised, sis. Better late than never...love you!

Read more...

Kite Festival & Cherry Blossom Festival

For those of you that know me, I have a life list.  These days people are calling it a "bucket list." I have had my life list for years - since at least the start of college.  I've added to it, adjusted it, laughed at myself and generally love my list.

The Cherry Blossoms in DC have been on the list for a few years now. And, I can say that this past Saturday, I experienced them. They arent in full bloom, and I was one of hundreds who enjoyed the spectacle...but, the point is that I sailed through another hearts desire.

Saturday was the start of the Cherry Blossom festival - a festival which welcomes spring and celebrates the gift of 200 cherry blossom tree's given to our nation from Japan many, many years ago.  As a part of the kick off festival, there is a Kite Festival.  So much fun and bliss to be had.  I have it on good authority that kite flying on the national mall is ONLY allowed on this one day.  So, I have done that too.

Here is a small selection of my photographic bliss from the day...more to come as I spend some early mornings over the next week at the tidal basin with my beautiful, elegant, PINK cherry blossoms...

Read more...

Ahhhhh Spring

I am sitting by the window, barefoot, watching the last moments of light creep over the edge of the earth.  The birds are singing a song of dusk and there is a breeze coming into my window. Granted, that breeze is getting a bit chilly at 730pm, but I cant bring myself to close it quite yet....my feet are remembering what its like to be undressed.  I painted them this afternoon - a nice mango like color.

This morning on my drive to work, I began to really notice a soft glow on all of the trees - the beautiful budding process that provides a touch of color to the once dormant trees.  It brought a smile to my face as I tried not to slow down traffic by this tiny grandeur of nature.

Prior to my "life on the east coast" I hadn't give much thought to seasons.  Sacramento has an anemic fall, a rainy winter a sneeze of spring and a nice long hot summer.  There just isnt a lot of time spent on the seasons out there! Since the winters are mild, spring just eases on in with very little procession or fanfare.

Having now experienced a bit of summer, a longer fall and one snowy winter my eyes are adjusted to seeing tiny changes in weather and nature.  Just coming off the closing cusp of a cold, cold winter, I embrace even the smallest glimmer of spring.  Longer daylight, sunlight and warmth - the tender process of budding and breathing - almost as if nature is exhaling the chill and solitude of winter.  There is a tangible anticipation and eagerness for spring.

So, I continue sitting here, mango toes and open window, squeezing the last drops of dusk and hoping that the 55 degree weather high this afternoon will remain just a bit longer on my skin.

Read more...

Sweet Sister

I really have the best sister ever.  You may think that your sis is cool, and I am sure that she is, but mine is the best!

On the 13th of February, I recieved a box from 1800 flowers. Now, this is strange because I NEVER get flowers! I couldnt think of any admirers, and I certainly dont have a boyfriend. My parents are serving missions in Russia and none of my girlfriends would send me a bouquet.  Furthermore, the label said something about southern Cal.

As I opened the box, the most beautiful dozen roses appeared. I was in shock.  As I looked for the card, who should it be from? My sis and her family. I was speechless and shocked.  My mind raced to the suprise flowers she sent for my college graduation and the other times she has thoughtfully sent me things to celebrate an event.

I was touched beyond measure.  I was with them last year for the holiday, and so here she is, ever the big sis and friend, sending me flowers (and a box of chocolates!).

I love you sis. Thanks for being so sweet and sending me the most beautiful roses!!! They are now drying in my closet so I can enjoy them a little longer...

Love you sis!!

Read more...

Commemorative T-Shirt

Well, my friends, I have survived the blizzard of 2010.  In honor of the unique history I find myself a part of, I have created a shirt....here is the design.  $11 each.

Read more...

Blizzard..not the Dairy Queen variety...

Snow snow snow! This is the second storm in less than a week.  And its wild.  The snow fall has tapered off this afternoon, but bits of flakes are still falling and the wind is in full gale style.  We are in a blizzard warning until at least 7pm tonight.  If you lived in Baltimore, you wouldn't be allowed to drive (not that you'd want to) becuase only emergency vehicles are allowed.  No one is out though, in this weather.  

In the pictures I am posting, you will notice that the snow is absent from the tops of the trees- because the wind has cleaned them off.  Its a white version of the Sahara desert out there- you can see the wind gusts in the sharp angles of the snow drifts.

Even in all this wild weather, I am finding it beautiful. I am graced with an excellent view in my room - and I am quite enraptured by the snow.  My romantic heart finds the white wonderland to be enchanting...and the icicles. 

I have found renewed "amour" with these pointy glass like formations.  We had some lovely ones growing over the weekend, but yesterday, we decided to knock them down.  They were hanging somewhat precariously over our front door, and with the new storm system approaching, we decided that safety was first in this situation.  Thankfully, they have grown back.  This time, they are angled, in a small mirror of the wind....

Enjoy the pictures in your warm houses....

Read more...

Snowmaggedon....

Whew.  Had no clue that there would be THIS much snow in VA! While I mocked the impending snow storm originally, Thursday night brought the madness! It snowed Friday afternoon through Saturday night - bringing us close to three feet of white stuff. Sunday was a welcome relief from the storm, and the sun was glorious.  However, because there is no place for all the melting snow to go, there is a problem of black ice. Most of the main roads are fairly clear, but the neighborhoods are a mess. The federal gov is shut down for the day (as it was yesterday) and I dont know of a school that is open.  Not only is there a lot of snow, but its very very wet and dense.  Roofs have collapsed, electrical lines have broken and broken tree branches are all over. Lest you think I have not enjoyed this, I have posted a few pictures of the fun.  My roomies have other ones that I need to grab to show our festivities.  

Read more...

Good night, Moon. (with a small buzz kill)

On my drive home tonight I looked up at the moon and saw its brilliance shinning through a thin layer of stratus clouds.  And I had one of those aha! moments which  caused me to almost stop and stare. Then I realized I was driving a car and couldn’t be so impulsive.

I realized that life, more specifically, our vision, is like that view of the moon.  Obstructed. Not 100%.  Hazy. 

Tonight I went to the planetarium up the street from my house.  I love the stars and astronomy and each month, on the first Monday, this planetarium has a lecture on the night sky and telescope viewing.  I learned some interesting things.

1. Humans eyes are made up of cones and rods. (okay, I knew this part already).  The rods are what work to see light in the dark.  But, unlike cones, rods only take in a portion of the spectrum, or black and white.  So, mostly stars look white.  Our eyes are too weak to take in the full spectrum of color, unaided.  Through powerful telescopes, we can see that stars are actually many colors; blue, red, etc.
2. The constellations we know as the “zodiac collection” were created as a way to pass down important life skills from generation to generation.  Because if you needed to know when to plant and hunt, a father wanted to pass that info in a way that his son would most likely remember. Those were not the days of julian calendars and 3G phones.
3. The “dog days” of August came from the Sirius star (the brightest star in the sky and the star in the throat of Canus Major).  When this star was seen in the horizon at sunrise, it was a sign that winter would be coming and it was time to get the final crop in. This stars light is only 8 light years away, making it the closest star (why it’s the brightest)
4. Astronomy is pretty amazing.  Telescopes are pretty fantastic as I could see the craters in the moon tonight through one.
5. Galileo gratefully observed the night sky telescopically first, because he blinded himself by looking at the sun through the telescope later in his life.  Then he was put under house arrest (as an old blind man) because he challenged the scientific belief that earth was the center of the universe. 
6. I was reminded of my desire to see Haileys comet again when I am 80- something(I saw it when I was six but I don’t really remember seeing it so much as I do standing out in the cold with my family), a Wolf moon on a clear night (This past Sunday was a wolf moon, but the impending storm prevented a sighting), the aurora borealis and a really good meteor shower.
7. We (the earth) are imbedded in the Milky Way galaxy. I think I knew this, but it was a good reminder.
8. Time is relative.  I know this is said a lot, especially by scientists. But really, its true. I mean, we have our days, and months and years – all dependant upon the orbits of our solar system, but its truly relative to our earth.  The light that we see from the sun is about 8 minutes old.  The light we see from the moon is about 2 seconds old.  That bright star, Sirius, is 8 light years away.  We are moving at about 700 miles per hour but because everthing on this planet is moving at the same rate, we don’t feel that speed.

All of these things remind me of a favorite scripture in the bible.  1 Corinthians 13:12: “For now we see through a glas, darkly; but then, face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. Contemplate that verse and draw your own parallels and analogies from my 8 learned concepts at the planetarium.

My small buzz kill for the evening – I walked into my house and it smelled like a dead fish. Really nasty and dirty like. (I strongly dislike bad smells) I hope whoever cooked the fish enjoyed it more than the smell that remained. Also, "Bob"** didn’t respond to my text invite. Grr.  No yes or no. No thanks but no thanks.  Just a void. Get it, avoid? That pun is for you dad.

No focus on the negative. I see through a glass darkly.  Meaning, in the morning the house will smell better and I don’t understand men. Oh well. Instead, I leave you with the invitation to check out your night sky.  Currently, Mars is visible at about 3 fists away from the moon, along the zodiac access. It’s looks reddish. A couple winter constellation “friends” you’ll see are O’rien the hunter,  Canis Major.

**names have been changed to preserve the identity of said boy and the pride of this blogs author..

Read more...

Modern 21st Century Woman

Earlier today...
Thought Process

I am still so darn twitterpated about "Bob"**.  I have no gauge as to his feelings, especially since he is a naturally flirty guy.  Gratefully Becks ** is in my corner and will do some recon for me.  Bottom line, I think he is cute, funny and wonderful and I would like to spend more time with him.  I am definitely interested.  But, I have no clue if he is interested in me.  So, I am wondering, do I need to do something? Do I make the first move? 

Later Today...
After Church/evening

At church today, the bishopric spoke in our combined priesthood/rs meeting and the bishop encouraged us girls to ask guys out.  Made me a little nervous.  Should I be doing more? On top of everything else, I need to also be asking the men out? A part of me got (as usual) irritated by that idea. Partially because culture says that girls don’t ask guys out. (I am a woman! Pony up and do the work of wooing a girl!)  Partially because I feel like a lot of guys (generalizing the church men population) are too complacent and cozy. With a three to one ratio, they get their pick of the litter and get away with sloppy behavior.  Should that be rewarded by women doing all the work of dating now too? Bishop reminded us that it was the 21^st century and it was ok for girls to be asking guys out, that we [women] can do that. The “I am woman, I can do anything” momentum kicked in and for half the evening I have contemplated and seriously considered asking Bob** out.  I can. I can. I can rush in ask him (or any guy) out.

But then I realized my own longstanding belief and the real root of my irritation.  

Sure, I think that the men need to step it up.  I have felt that way for a long time (again I am broadly generalizing church guys here). But more than that, I am irritated by this “21^st century woman” rhetoric. Because, its not a matter of ability.  Sure, I can ask a guy out.  I can open my door.  I can do everything for myself independently but have a baby. Oh, wait, now, with artificial insemination, I don’t even need a man for that.  And this is my point. I don’t need a man.  If you line up all the logistics – I can accomplish everything myself.  Some call it liberation. Some call it leveling the playing field.  Call it what you wish, women these days don’t have a need for a man.  So, sure, I can ask a guy out.  But I don’t want to. I don’t want strip men of the little remaining masculinity in the mating/dating social selection process. And this is the root of my irritation.  By creating a culture of over-aggressive, over-dominant women, society spawned a “naked, crouching man.” Women asking men out is perpetuating the dominant woman and thereby reversing the 50’s era dominant man ideology – an imbalanced ideology which sparked the women’s liberation movement in the 60’s. How is it appropriate for one to be traded for another?

Men need responsibility, roles and rights just as much as women.  Its not a matter of equality, ability or independence.  It’s a matter inherent need and self-value. 

So tonight, I stand up for men.  Certainly I think at times they need to step up to the plate. (I don’t want to be another Zipporah – Exodus 4:25) But, so often, they get the short end of the stick in society’s eye.  They get kicked to the curb and quite possibly get contused by the mixed messages sent to them by the “modern, 21^st century” woman.   This woman tells men they are dispensable, expendable and even replaceable.  They assert themselves as independent, dominant, and close to perfect. Then expect men to pay for dinner, be respectful, open/not open doors, etc.

So, Bishop, while I agree that we are in the 21^st century, I don’t agree that women ought to be regularly asking men out.  The burden of that responsibility does not lie on my shoulders.  I will encourage, I will say yes, and I will occasionally ask a guy out.  But, I will not perpetuate or regularly participate in the stripping of our men’s identity or core being.  They are able to immerge from the cloud of false doctrine and mass false positive media messages. They can be men. Lets let them be men.

**names have been changed to preserve the identity of said boy and the pride of this blogs author..

Read more...

Landscape

I just finished skype calling my parents.  Good chat.  My dad mentioned something that stuck out to me.  

No matter the changing landscape, one still has to learn to live with oneself.  

Whether  my physical presence is in Sacramento, LA or DC, I as a person, am still here. So, one had best know and love that person and not merely the local. This last weeks has been a lesson about being kinder to myself.  Three people have told me to be kinder to myself over the course of a week and a half.  Because I am rough with myself I don’t always enjoy the journey.  So, I continue to have that as my goal.  Be kind with myself.  Don’t become entrapped with what I am not doing and not good at.  Let go of unnecessary burdens.  Love others with an open heart.  Allow moderate frustration but only enough to effectively move me forward.  See clearly the good things I am a part of and the vision of what I can do. Allow my soul to breathe and to relax. To truly feel and enjoy.

So I give a present to myself.  I would encourage you to do it to.  I present myself with kindness. Remembering that I do love life and all its funny quirks. Remembering that I am strong and able.  Remembering that I am lovely and loved. And you are too.

Life doesn’t go as planned.  Its not so rigid as to stay static.  The same picture of life can be perceived in many ways.  It zooms and swirls.  Its happy and real as a summer rainstorm.  We can take that and embrace it; own it; know it. We can then know ourselves. Or we can fear it, close down around it, pull the blinds over it and thus render ourselves strangers to our own souls.

This week as I have been kinder to my self, I have tasted again of bliss. Of untainted laughter.  I have worked hard and pushed to meet goals.  I have shared and been taught.

So I am glad the landscape has changed. Because in this change, I have changed.  Or rather, realized I am the same and have loved all the more.

Read more...

The papery skin is falling off…

Close to 1am...

 Jan 22 (although technically its still Thursday night since I haven’t gone to bed yet…)

I literally just went running and screaming through the streets of DC. Pure abandon and bliss.

Tonight my friend Ben (by the way, most of the Bens I’ve know have been intensely into music) took me to a fantastic concert at this gritty little club called Black Cat.  It had all the character indicadive of a small club – funky wall paint colors, dark-ish lighting (oxymoron, but lets not go there), excellent people watching, strange smells, mass out of promo posters and a pool table. After all, every club/venue//cool kids place needs a pool table.


Come to think of it, the club came complete with a very intense ticket taker woman.  I decided she must have had a bad dinner or no dinner at all.  She got very concerned when we stepped to close to the entryway without showing her our tickets.  When we tried to talk to her, she told us she could talk to us once we stepped back away from the doors and on the otherside of the "ticket" counter.  She repeated this after we stepped back, but not close enough to the imaginary line she set forth as the proper distance of entry examination. 

But, the heart of the night!

How I LOVE music.  Tonight was great. Much to my delight the opening, opening band was a great sound.  Faces on Film.  Check them out.  His voice is beautiful – and has this strangely haunting feel.  Not too sure if that sound will be there in a studio recording, but take it from me, the lead singer is great live! The middle band was NOT worth blowing some ear drum power on.  Horrible sound, but very entertaining band members.  They danced and had some great had gesturing.  To quote my friend Ben as we talked to the band (Animal Tropical)  after the show “You were like nothing I have heard before.” Honestly. Absolutely honesy.  It was like beatnik poetry set to grunge/guitar slam/clashing chords sung with off key vocals.  Great guys though. And I must tip my hat to George, the base player.  He was the size of the base! Short, short guy -Ecuadorian? Very entertaining.

The concert ran until around 11:45.  And as we left – it was freezing and raining! Ben started to run and I started to run in the hopes of staying warm and getting to the car quickly. He laughed and yelled “I’m dusting you. You cant run because you’re in flats!” (reference to an earlier comment on why I couldnt walk fast. He thought I was in heels. I told him I was wearing flats. He was confused) We started goofing off and yelling back and forth as we ran through the wet streets of DC scaring the concert goers walking around us.  It would be much more entertaining to you if you had been the couple under the umbrella we zoomed past...

We also discussed the fact that I say (out loud) good morning to both the Washington and Lincoln Memorials as I pass them on my daily commute.  We discussed the need to be more personal and creative with the names for my monument call out! “George” (said in French accent) and Hammy or Ham bone will be the names I try out in the morning.

And Ben, if you're reading this, your personal musk and 90's hair are not to be taken seriously. *

* Explain? Bens hair is long. Well, longish since his hairdresser moved away and he doesnt want to spend $40 for a haircut at the mall.  Nevermind that I would do it for $35.  He asked me what I thought. He told me to be honest.  I stalled. He then said "It looks like 90's hair." I agreed. Maybe I shouldnt have.  I am just honest that way. Personal Musk? Bens car smells like the leather airfreshner hanging from his rear view mirror.  Upon my discovery, Ben commented "that is my personal musk you're smelling."  No one ought to infer the richness of their personal musk. I told him never to use that phrase in a serious tone. Ever.

Read more...

Daily Thoughts Decipered

The last entry I posted was a simple, unfiltered, stream of thought journal entry. 

A little deciphering below....

1. sketches, photos and website designs given to a design friend who will have mock ups for me within a week = entirely new website/ blog/online store and music player
2. Partial draft of my autobiography given (tomorrow) to an editor
3. Meeting with local musician to talk about how to break into the live scene here in DC (Friday pm)
4. Possible big trip planned for my 30th birthday (yes folks, thats just 6 short months away!

The rest of the deciphering is in colors, textures, dreams (actual night dreams), thrift stores, fields and possibly my sock drawer.

If you (dad) cant seem to find me...check the Eiffel tower, Huntington beach, or my local fave place - the National Portrait Gallery for starters.

If I am not there, check a tree or my bed. I could be napping.

-

Read more...

Daily Thoughts

 January 19,  2010

I am sitting here at work, listening to Pandora and trying to find clinical citations to substantiate the gap in medical care/practices for treating autistic individuals.  And I sit here wishing the same wish I have for the last 8 years- to be on the road, singing.  And I wonder why I really don’t do it.  Why I keep circulating in the same type of job that is responsible and why I feel the need to be conventional when clearly my heart is not.  Why I cant seem to let go. And then it just hit me.  I shove and keep things inside.  And I need to let it out.  It all needs to come out and I need to stop holding on.  It sounds so simple and duh as I write it here on this black and white, but I don’t know – its just time to let go.  Really let it all go.  Run wild in the street.  Fly to Paris if I want.  Chase after a producer.  Play guitar till my fingers bleed.  Wrangle my passion again.  Laugh.  Flaminco dance in Spain.  Run with abandon under a full moon.  Buy a beach cruiser and a basket. I mean, really – why do I feel guilted into doing things that aren’t me?  There are plenty o musicians who have moved forward at their own pace without being swallowed into immorality.  So, today I make a real promise to myself. I wrote down this week on my newly created chalkboard the goal of being kinder to myself.  So, I promise to be serious about the matters of my heart.  And if that involves perceived irresponsibility or bruises, I am ok with that.  Children aren’t afraid – they don’t have hang-ups or fears.  That is something they learn and perceive.  As I stare outside onto the beauty of Maryland’s mini hills, I answer the question of why I am not happy, content.  Because I am not being true to myself – I keep tinkering on the edge of this presipice – I take test flights with the golden wings attached to my body, but test flights only get you down to the edge.

I have music to sing.  I have art to share.  I have a voice to speak. 

I have this image in my mind.  This lovely being, draped in white, with angel wings.  But, she is folded over; crouched, with her wings tucked away.  And all sorts of people and animals cirle around her, sniff it out, etc but it never moves.  Until the sun comes and touches her, and she imerges and gracefully flys away…

Read more...