American Idol - Take Two!

Yep. Somehow I got suckered into the auditions yet again. Round one wasnt enough and I am a glutton for a strange time.  This year it was AI auditions in SF. And, joining me were two cohorts - Tommy (now Dr Tommy since he passed his dental boards) and Holadai. She is a mutual friend. We all crowded into the cow palace with the other thousands of unsuspecting folks and waited. And waited some more. They lined us up outside at 5am and didnt let us in the palace (why is it a palace? it certainly isnt warm, beautiful or cozy. Just a large ugly space) until 8:30. Then we waited. And waited. Seeing a theme? Its a good thing I had friends there, and we had a good time together. I had my 30 second shot at lifelong fame around 4:30 in the afternoon. Yep - and after all that waiting, it was over. Good thing I have a day job. And I didnt hang my hat on this audition. 'Cuz I was one of the many "cows" set on the chopping block to get cut. Its very arbitrary how they select the "golden ticket" recipients. 

You are set in front of a panel of 2 judges - if you are lucky, they may be older than you and may have some musical experience. Most of them just barely fit under the heading of "American Idol Staff." They line you up in a row of 4. Each person steps out of line, one at a time, and is asked to sing. When they feel you have sung sufficiently to their taste (usually about 30 seconds) they ask you to step back into line. If they like you, they may have you sing again, or they may have a discussion with you. If they really like you, you get a golden ticket. For those they dont like (but not those they strongly dislike - if they dislike you enough, you go through for pure entertainment value) they tell you thanks and better luck next time. The canned line is "your vocals arent strong enough. go home and practice that." At least that is what our line of four was told. You then step around the table and your wristband is chopped off and you are free to go back into the real world.

Now, let me say a few words about the line up process. And it is a process. You first must get a wristband and ticket (like a concert ticket) which is obtained after you sign a waiver of privacy and showing two forms of ID. This is done for 2-3 days before the actual audition day. The number on the ticket tells you when you will audition on the real day.  So, some people camp out allllll night prior to day one of registration. Its funny because they say camping out is not allowed, but people do it any way without any fall out. 

Once you are there on audition day, after your number is called, you line up in the four across formation. Keep in mind that there are thousands of people in the venue. So, to keep the pace going, they have about 12 audition booths an keep the lines of 4 about 5 lines deep at all times. The booths are right next to each other and the only sound barrier in tact is a thin sheet like drape. 

It is truly a cattle call. 

Its not a talent competition. Its an entertainment program. And money & ratings are at the heart of the agenda. Never forget that. Sometimes as a viewer, we get caught up in the "magic & mystique" of certain shows. But, we must never forget what is always on the forefront of the producers mind. 

Money.

Its not personal, they dont ask for your name, they dont care about you or your family. They dont even care what you did to get there. They simply size you up in 30 seconds or less and with a roll of the dice, you are in or out. Simple and succinct. Its numbers and luck. And luck, ladies and gentlemen is rarely a lady. 

For those lucky folks who are liked by their panel judges, they receive a golden ticket. Its really just a goldenrod colored 8 1/2 piece of paper with their number on it. They will then go at a later time to audition in front of Nigel Lithgo (the exec producer of the show) and a second producer. At this point in time you sign more paperwork excluding your agency to discuss your proceedings with the media and disallowing you to post your success on any websites, blogs, etc. You also are not allowed to get paid for any shows or gigs you may have scheduled. In short, AI owns you. Body and soul. (remember the show doesnt begin live tapings until Jan, so you are bound to these rules until then). If you pass the double producer audition, you are then sent in front of Simon, Paula and Randy. Thats the part everyone sees. 

And thats the process. And I took part in it. Wierd, crazy and typical hollywood. Thank heavens I'm not the next American Idol (or even in the running for it). I am though, forever YOUR Sacramento idol :)

--Shannon