Modern 21st Century Woman

Earlier today...
Thought Process

I am still so darn twitterpated about "Bob"**.  I have no gauge as to his feelings, especially since he is a naturally flirty guy.  Gratefully Becks ** is in my corner and will do some recon for me.  Bottom line, I think he is cute, funny and wonderful and I would like to spend more time with him.  I am definitely interested.  But, I have no clue if he is interested in me.  So, I am wondering, do I need to do something? Do I make the first move? 

Later Today...
After Church/evening

At church today, the bishopric spoke in our combined priesthood/rs meeting and the bishop encouraged us girls to ask guys out.  Made me a little nervous.  Should I be doing more? On top of everything else, I need to also be asking the men out? A part of me got (as usual) irritated by that idea. Partially because culture says that girls don’t ask guys out. (I am a woman! Pony up and do the work of wooing a girl!)  Partially because I feel like a lot of guys (generalizing the church men population) are too complacent and cozy. With a three to one ratio, they get their pick of the litter and get away with sloppy behavior.  Should that be rewarded by women doing all the work of dating now too? Bishop reminded us that it was the 21^st century and it was ok for girls to be asking guys out, that we [women] can do that. The “I am woman, I can do anything” momentum kicked in and for half the evening I have contemplated and seriously considered asking Bob** out.  I can. I can. I can rush in ask him (or any guy) out.

But then I realized my own longstanding belief and the real root of my irritation.  

Sure, I think that the men need to step it up.  I have felt that way for a long time (again I am broadly generalizing church guys here). But more than that, I am irritated by this “21^st century woman” rhetoric. Because, its not a matter of ability.  Sure, I can ask a guy out.  I can open my door.  I can do everything for myself independently but have a baby. Oh, wait, now, with artificial insemination, I don’t even need a man for that.  And this is my point. I don’t need a man.  If you line up all the logistics – I can accomplish everything myself.  Some call it liberation. Some call it leveling the playing field.  Call it what you wish, women these days don’t have a need for a man.  So, sure, I can ask a guy out.  But I don’t want to. I don’t want strip men of the little remaining masculinity in the mating/dating social selection process. And this is the root of my irritation.  By creating a culture of over-aggressive, over-dominant women, society spawned a “naked, crouching man.” Women asking men out is perpetuating the dominant woman and thereby reversing the 50’s era dominant man ideology – an imbalanced ideology which sparked the women’s liberation movement in the 60’s. How is it appropriate for one to be traded for another?

Men need responsibility, roles and rights just as much as women.  Its not a matter of equality, ability or independence.  It’s a matter inherent need and self-value. 

So tonight, I stand up for men.  Certainly I think at times they need to step up to the plate. (I don’t want to be another Zipporah – Exodus 4:25) But, so often, they get the short end of the stick in society’s eye.  They get kicked to the curb and quite possibly get contused by the mixed messages sent to them by the “modern, 21^st century” woman.   This woman tells men they are dispensable, expendable and even replaceable.  They assert themselves as independent, dominant, and close to perfect. Then expect men to pay for dinner, be respectful, open/not open doors, etc.

So, Bishop, while I agree that we are in the 21^st century, I don’t agree that women ought to be regularly asking men out.  The burden of that responsibility does not lie on my shoulders.  I will encourage, I will say yes, and I will occasionally ask a guy out.  But, I will not perpetuate or regularly participate in the stripping of our men’s identity or core being.  They are able to immerge from the cloud of false doctrine and mass false positive media messages. They can be men. Lets let them be men.

**names have been changed to preserve the identity of said boy and the pride of this blogs author..